The Witt continues to shine

Like a well oiled machine that someone forgot to put oil in, the Witt has continued to grow and develop in interesting way.
Alongside the original witty encyclopedia (called wittypedia) and the (now not quite so) all new wittymedia and murraying there's a new section I should've told you about sooner...

Witter - that's right, it's like twitter only with one less t and a completely different ethos;
Do you have very funny thoughts? Ok, just funny thoughts then? Who am I kidding, we'll take anything...
Use Witter to share your thoughts - there's no registration required, there's no minimum level of humour required just an instant way to add your wittisms to the world wide web.

Minor updates

Changed the text on the wit front page to fully explain the left links and cut down on confusion. 

In other news, a founding member of the wit announced record profits today when he found a whole dollar under his bed... it's a slow news day.

How to write a funny article

So, you've seen what's on offer at the Wit and want to add your own funny gem to the ornate paste necklace that is, wittypedia, eh?

Alrighty, you just need to follow these 5 tips that are listed here and you're all set for mega-stardom - wittypedia style;

1. Think of a subject

Potatoes, Wagons, Bed knobs, My big toe ...are all awesome subjects for new funny articles ...but what have you got to say about them? Sometimes a news article can get you thinking about a funny aspect of something or maybe a surrealist ramble is more your style. Maybe just looking round your house will provide you with inspiration. I think my next article will be about ...doors!

2. Be creative

Have you thought of a subject that's already been covered? Take a look at the current article - can your piece co-exist with it or is it a separate beast entirely? If you don't feel it matches or you want your own space then simply think of a different term. E.g. There's already a page on Life but your new article about it can be titled About Life or, how to live or, not dying etc. - there's lots of options!

3. Be true to yourself

Only you know what's funny to you - and that's what you have to write. If you can make yourself laugh then hopefully it'll make your friends laugh - and maybe, just maybe, everybody in the whole damn world too! (It also helps to be deluded)

4. Edit yourself

Adding pictures to your page will help it stand out. From time to time we do add pictures to articles ourselves but if you write an article about something with specific visual imagery like a zebra in camouflage clothing then you run the risk of us posting a pic of one in desert fatigues when you were picturing arctic survival wear. So it may be best to do it yourself.

5. Tell a friend

You're now a published comedy writer so tell everyone you know! Ok, it may not get you a job as a staff writer on the Simpsons but showing how funny you are to all your friends is always a good idea.

Here are today's Wittypicks;

Funny website article – Britain http://www.wittypedia.com/Britain

Its inception occurred a long time ago when an English politician realised all the best inventors seemed to be Scottish and wanted a piece of the glory. So, the union was formed and all inventors then became British.

Britain has since been responsible for 90% of modern inventions but not responsible for Mel Gibson’s Scottish accent in the historically accurate truthfest that was braveheart.

Funny website article – USA
http://www.wittypedia.com/Usa

The emblem for america is the bald eagle which is fitting because;

• It's bald - like some Americans
• It has feathers - like the pillows used by some Americans
• It has eyes - like most Americans
• It's an eagle - and some Americans are illegal (ill-eagle) immigrants

The list goes on, and the quality of the comparisons actually gets worse, so I'll stop there.

How to join us and get your funny on!

Seen some of the funny articles we've written but think you can do better?

Well, use your comedy typing skills (by which we mean produce funny articles - not type in flamboyant gestures whilst wearing a gold loin cloth.) and join the fastest growing comedy website on the internet - and then join wittypedia as well.

How to sign up

It's not a hard process but we figure it might not be as easy as we think because so few people have done it so far… and there’s no other reason we can think of not to do it.

On the top right of the site is some text that says login - click on it and you will be taken to the login page. Then follow the instructions to sign-up… is that an over-simplification? Well, for a more complete guide click this link;

http://www.wittypedia.com/Help:Contents

Why do I have to sign up?

A while ago, Wittypedia or the Wit, as it is known, was bombarded with spam. At first we were flattered at the new users and their string of nonsensical articles which ranged from the magnificent 'mhjuhfg' to the always entertaining 'ninhjhghd' - which featured such classic phrases as 'sfsfgsgsgsg' and 'fgrhteee'.

Unfortunately these masterpieces of surrealism started to make our own articles look less funny and, in a fit of what we can now admit was pure jealous rage, we erased them all and set up a login to prevent this happening again.

Feature review - Randomating

The verb to random, from the latin randomitus, meaning - to place your hand in a bag of leeches and pull out a kitten named Florence.

Randomating is the new craze... and now you can do it too!

 

Simply select the link on the left side of the wittypedia website that says random and you'll be whisked away to a place filled with tears of laughter/indifference/despair (delete as appropriate) .

 

And, if searching the left-hand menu's plethora of links is too much work then please feel free to click here and get randomised!

 

But remember, the quality of article you come across when Randomating is almost entirely dependant on you! The more funny articles you write, the less chance there is of coming across some of the few mirth-impaired pages that may possibly exist.

 

 

Not feeling random? Well, here are today's ever so funny Wittypicks - just follow the links to read the whole maddeningly funny articles on the wittypedia website.

 

Scientists - Full funny article

NOT TO BE TRUSTED. Forever opening up animals as if they were a can of baked beans, scooping out the contents and having them for breakfast. All of them own at least five identical white coats that start at the shoulders and end below the knee.

 

Earth - Full funny article

Today, if my apartment is to be believed, the earth is populated by at least 3 people (some sources ridiculously claim the figure to be somewhere in the billions), as well as many, many different forms of plant and animal life, soft furnishings and cutlery.

Welcome - new content

Welcome to the wittypedia blog - a blog which blogs the blog-able things involved in running the ever so funny and somewhat magical website www.wittypedia.com

 

Keeping you up to date with all the funny comings and goings on one of 'the internet's best kept secrets' (ED - do you add quotation marks if you said it yourself?)

A site that has been told by an internet expert that,  'it could be one of the surprise internet sensations of 2009 - if you just change all of your content.' (Actual genuine quote)

 

New content is being added all the time and here's just an example of two articles that have been added recently, and they are;

 

Dolphins - http://www.wittypedia.com/Dolphins

Dolphins breath through blowholes on the tops of their heads, but do not be fooled into thinking you can blow into them simply because they're called blowholes. Apparently they don't like it much and start to head butt you in a manner that can only be described as very painful... And environmentalists get all preachy about it too. So don't do it. Etc etc.

 

And;

 

Transport - http://www.wittypedia.com/Transport

Whenever you go from A to B without using the mystical art of walking (two legged or otherwise) or it's speedier counterparts of jogging, cantering and running, the odds are pretty high you just used a form of transport. Etc etc.

 

Click on the links to check out the full articles, or check out our other funny articles here - and if you think you could do better, sign up and have a go.