Popularity explosion

Barely weeks in to the relaunch of Wittypedia ( http://witt.wittypedia.com/ ) and it's safe to report that we have increased our popularity by a considerable factor. We hope to be bringing some new, exciting and interactive features over the coming months so stay tuned for that. In the meantime head on over to check out our most popular posts as of 04 December 2009 - the top 3 are;

http://witt.wittypedia.com/2009/11/avatar-this-film-excites-me-more-now/  - Bill Murray in Avatar

http://witt.wittypedia.com/2009/12/internet-slang-update-1/  - Internet slang or web speak updated as only we can,

http://witt.wittypedia.com/2009/12/new-mad-max-fury-road-teaser-poster/ - Mel Gibson to star in new Mad Max film... we think not

Updates galore

In an effort to make the front page more interactive it now features the 5 newest WittyPedia entries, the 5 newest WittyMedia entries and a random picture from the newest internet sensation - Murraying! Click the link to go to the all new Witt!

What's New you ask? Pretty much everything!

Wittypedia has grown in new and interesting ways. It's bigger, it's funnier and it smells less of bacon.

No longer just funny articles - we now have funny pictures, hilarious videos and many more amazing things to astound your senses - except smell, unless you like things that smell slightly less like bacon than they used to.

Go check it out, contribute, enjoy!

The Witt - Wittypedia

Wittypedia just got laid... out, slightly differently

Yes keen observers will note that the look of wittypedia has changed. You can still find all your favourite funny stuff in all the usual places... just a little bit more pink. Is this an omen of things to come? What will become of the witt in the future?

Big Changes afoot in the world of the Witt

It's fixed! Yes, many of you will be unaware that it was even broken but for the last few months Wittypedia has languished in a state of disrepair brought about by a mediawiki upgrade and an unhelpful hosting provider who refused to allow sufficient access to update the database to reflect the changes. Suffice to say that where there's a Witt there's a way - and in the blink of an eye (albeit an incredibly slow blink) a solution was found and the world's favourite Encyclopedia of Funny Articles (created by us) was back online.

A mad rush to create new articles is now expected... as is the return of the dancing flea called Paul.

Minor updates

Changed the text on the wit front page to fully explain the left links and cut down on confusion. 

In other news, a founding member of the wit announced record profits today when he found a whole dollar under his bed... it's a slow news day.

Witty Quicky

Just a quick update today. Our favourite funny website just got funnier! Here's a selection of some of the new articles that have recently been added to the wit;

Wittypedia - funny article - Enjoying work

So this modern process of working to make the non-working rich even richer so that you can serve the basic needs of society, or be locked up - can be seen as a rather negative process. So how can it be enjoyed? ...click the above link to find out!

Wittypedia - funny article - Tables

"Without them we'd all be eating off the floor" - so said a philosopher when asked why we need tables. But this man had obviously never heard of trays, which leads us to the intriguing question, and the even more startling answer... Why does everyone have tables?

Wittypedia - funny articles - Watchmen

A graphic novel and movie of the same name exist... but this article is about the tiny little men who live inside my watch  ...click the link above to find out more!

How to write a funny article

So, you've seen what's on offer at the Wit and want to add your own funny gem to the ornate paste necklace that is, wittypedia, eh?

Alrighty, you just need to follow these 5 tips that are listed here and you're all set for mega-stardom - wittypedia style;

1. Think of a subject

Potatoes, Wagons, Bed knobs, My big toe ...are all awesome subjects for new funny articles ...but what have you got to say about them? Sometimes a news article can get you thinking about a funny aspect of something or maybe a surrealist ramble is more your style. Maybe just looking round your house will provide you with inspiration. I think my next article will be about ...doors!

2. Be creative

Have you thought of a subject that's already been covered? Take a look at the current article - can your piece co-exist with it or is it a separate beast entirely? If you don't feel it matches or you want your own space then simply think of a different term. E.g. There's already a page on Life but your new article about it can be titled About Life or, how to live or, not dying etc. - there's lots of options!

3. Be true to yourself

Only you know what's funny to you - and that's what you have to write. If you can make yourself laugh then hopefully it'll make your friends laugh - and maybe, just maybe, everybody in the whole damn world too! (It also helps to be deluded)

4. Edit yourself

Adding pictures to your page will help it stand out. From time to time we do add pictures to articles ourselves but if you write an article about something with specific visual imagery like a zebra in camouflage clothing then you run the risk of us posting a pic of one in desert fatigues when you were picturing arctic survival wear. So it may be best to do it yourself.

5. Tell a friend

You're now a published comedy writer so tell everyone you know! Ok, it may not get you a job as a staff writer on the Simpsons but showing how funny you are to all your friends is always a good idea.

Here are today's Wittypicks;

Funny website article – Britain http://www.wittypedia.com/Britain

Its inception occurred a long time ago when an English politician realised all the best inventors seemed to be Scottish and wanted a piece of the glory. So, the union was formed and all inventors then became British.

Britain has since been responsible for 90% of modern inventions but not responsible for Mel Gibson’s Scottish accent in the historically accurate truthfest that was braveheart.

Funny website article – USA
http://www.wittypedia.com/Usa

The emblem for america is the bald eagle which is fitting because;

• It's bald - like some Americans
• It has feathers - like the pillows used by some Americans
• It has eyes - like most Americans
• It's an eagle - and some Americans are illegal (ill-eagle) immigrants

The list goes on, and the quality of the comparisons actually gets worse, so I'll stop there.

How to join us and get your funny on!

Seen some of the funny articles we've written but think you can do better?

Well, use your comedy typing skills (by which we mean produce funny articles - not type in flamboyant gestures whilst wearing a gold loin cloth.) and join the fastest growing comedy website on the internet - and then join wittypedia as well.

How to sign up

It's not a hard process but we figure it might not be as easy as we think because so few people have done it so far… and there’s no other reason we can think of not to do it.

On the top right of the site is some text that says login - click on it and you will be taken to the login page. Then follow the instructions to sign-up… is that an over-simplification? Well, for a more complete guide click this link;

http://www.wittypedia.com/Help:Contents

Why do I have to sign up?

A while ago, Wittypedia or the Wit, as it is known, was bombarded with spam. At first we were flattered at the new users and their string of nonsensical articles which ranged from the magnificent 'mhjuhfg' to the always entertaining 'ninhjhghd' - which featured such classic phrases as 'sfsfgsgsgsg' and 'fgrhteee'.

Unfortunately these masterpieces of surrealism started to make our own articles look less funny and, in a fit of what we can now admit was pure jealous rage, we erased them all and set up a login to prevent this happening again.

Feature review - Randomating

The verb to random, from the latin randomitus, meaning - to place your hand in a bag of leeches and pull out a kitten named Florence.

Randomating is the new craze... and now you can do it too!

 

Simply select the link on the left side of the wittypedia website that says random and you'll be whisked away to a place filled with tears of laughter/indifference/despair (delete as appropriate) .

 

And, if searching the left-hand menu's plethora of links is too much work then please feel free to click here and get randomised!

 

But remember, the quality of article you come across when Randomating is almost entirely dependant on you! The more funny articles you write, the less chance there is of coming across some of the few mirth-impaired pages that may possibly exist.

 

 

Not feeling random? Well, here are today's ever so funny Wittypicks - just follow the links to read the whole maddeningly funny articles on the wittypedia website.

 

Scientists - Full funny article

NOT TO BE TRUSTED. Forever opening up animals as if they were a can of baked beans, scooping out the contents and having them for breakfast. All of them own at least five identical white coats that start at the shoulders and end below the knee.

 

Earth - Full funny article

Today, if my apartment is to be believed, the earth is populated by at least 3 people (some sources ridiculously claim the figure to be somewhere in the billions), as well as many, many different forms of plant and animal life, soft furnishings and cutlery.

Latest Wittypedia News

You may have noticed some changes to our website's front page ( http://www.wittypedia.com )... or you may not... it really does depend on whether you're one of the handful of amazing and funny people who know about the site.

 

But yeah, we've gone for a little bit of extra text in there to grab your eyes by their cortex and swing them around in glorious monochrome text based goodness... and it also helps us to better point out the funny articles and how you can contribute to article creation.

 

We are nothing if not bored though so there's a fair chance the front page may change again soon - if you have any suggestions for improvements then please leave us a comment here. We'll sift through them all (admittedly easy for the foreseeable future because, at the time of writing, there's none at all) so you can be sure your pearl of wisdom will be seen.

 

Wittypicks - featuring excerpts from some of our favourite funny articles - click on the links to check them out;

 

Ants http://www.wittypedia.com/Ants

Ants, as the name suggests, mostly live in semi-detached luxury apartments on the French riviera.

They can also be found in cracks in pavements but this is only in their capacity as pavement crack inspectors - a job which they do for purely altruistic reasons.

Although 6 legged, they have yet to grasp the concept of multitasking which is a shame because they are almost perfectly designed for doing more than one thing at a time (up to 6).

 

 

Jesus http://www.wittypedia.com/Jesus

2000 years ago a man named jesus performed miracles in front of 12 of his close friends as he wandered around a small area of a country that most westerners of the time didn't know existed.

 

20 years ago a man called David Copperfield walked through the great wall of china in front of an audience of millions.

One of them is the cornerstone of western religion, the other has large eyebrows

Welcome - new content

Welcome to the wittypedia blog - a blog which blogs the blog-able things involved in running the ever so funny and somewhat magical website www.wittypedia.com

 

Keeping you up to date with all the funny comings and goings on one of 'the internet's best kept secrets' (ED - do you add quotation marks if you said it yourself?)

A site that has been told by an internet expert that,  'it could be one of the surprise internet sensations of 2009 - if you just change all of your content.' (Actual genuine quote)

 

New content is being added all the time and here's just an example of two articles that have been added recently, and they are;

 

Dolphins - http://www.wittypedia.com/Dolphins

Dolphins breath through blowholes on the tops of their heads, but do not be fooled into thinking you can blow into them simply because they're called blowholes. Apparently they don't like it much and start to head butt you in a manner that can only be described as very painful... And environmentalists get all preachy about it too. So don't do it. Etc etc.

 

And;

 

Transport - http://www.wittypedia.com/Transport

Whenever you go from A to B without using the mystical art of walking (two legged or otherwise) or it's speedier counterparts of jogging, cantering and running, the odds are pretty high you just used a form of transport. Etc etc.

 

Click on the links to check out the full articles, or check out our other funny articles here - and if you think you could do better, sign up and have a go.